our house

finding peace 2-1Again, I want to thank you all for your sweet comments regarding my post yesterday. It’s hard to put myself out there on this subject and lay out all that is on my heart, but your sweet responses to all of it, make it much easier and I’m so thankful for all of you.

Yesterday was a rough day. I cried a lot. Most of the day, in fact.

It was the day that we closed escrow on our house here.

I’m still calling it “our house” because we are still living here. It’s still the house that we made a home for 4 years of our lives. It’s still the house that we brought Reagan home from the hospital to. It’s still the house that both of the little presidents’ learned to crawl and walk in. It’s still the house that both of the little presidents’ have celebrated birthdays in. The house that we have celebrated Christmases in. The house that my husband has spent countless hours making our backyard beautiful in. The house that we have entertained friends and family in. The house that has seen highs and lows and everything in between.

Our house.

But, as of yesterday afternoon, It’s technically not really our house anymore.

As I said, we will be staying here through the end of the year. I have spent a lot of the past 24 hours trying to decide if this is a good thing, like I originally thought it was. The next 90 days will fly by, I’m sure. But, I am also wondering if It’s going to make it that much harder to leave, come January. I think the reality is, it’s going to be hard to leave whenever we go. It would be hard to leave today and it will be hard to leave in January. The impending date is looming in the back of mind and even when I try to put it out of my head, it’s still there.

We have made LOTS of memories in this house. I knew we’d never stay here forever, but I never realized how hard it would to be to actually leave or contemplate leaving, until now.

While, I know that moving is the right thing and will be a good thing for our family, I am really struggling with the fact that the house can’t come too. There are so many things about this house that I love. I’ve put my blood, sweat and tears into decorating this place and making it a home. making it “our home.” It’s hard to imagine that pretty soon, other people will be doing the same thing in “our house.” But, then it won’t be “our house.” It will be their house. They will make memories here and we will head off to the new chapter in our lives and make new memories.

A house is just a house. I get that. But, at the same time, it’s part of the family. It’s the safe place. The place that I always feel “home.” The only home that the little presidents have ever known. I think this topic is going to be hard for me to find peace on. Once we get into our new place, I think it will be easier to grasp the concept that, it’s our new house and feel at peace about it. The new place where we will make memories. The new place where we will celebrate birthdays. The new place that will witness the highs and lows of life. The new “our house.”

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Home is home and as long as we are all together as a family, it will be home. But, I’m sure going to miss this place.

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You can purchase the above “With You Darling, I Am Home” print from Lindsay Letters, here.

This is the 9th post in a 31 day series about Finding Peace. You can find the rest of the posts from the series, here.