33 Things for my 20 Year Old Self

Happy Tuesday, peeps. I wrote this post the year I turned 30. A letter of things that I wish I could go back and tell myself when I was a 20 year old. Each year, I have decided to add one item of things that I have learned and wish that I could go back and tell myself at that age. I turn 33 today and begin this year feeling extremely grateful and blessed, as I do on every birthday. I must admit, this is my first birthday that feels like such a nonevent and I can’t help but wonder if that just happens as you age? I would say that 32 was one of the most difficult years of my life for different reasons. Reasons, that I have no intention of getting into at this point in time, but maybe at some point? So, for now, I’ll leave it at that. I’m not sorry to say goodbye to my 32nd year, I am welcoming 33 with open arms. It’s funny to look back and see how much has changed in the span of one year. Some good. Some not so good. When you think about it, one year doesn’t seem like that long of a time period, but really, it is. So many things can happen in that 12 month span. I love being able to add things to my list each year. Let’s face it, we learn a lot daily. There are so many life lessons. I look back and think, had I have known some of this stuff when I was younger, maybe I wouldn’t have worried so much about the future? But, I’m a worrywart, so I probably would worry anyway. As I said, 32 was a difficult year, but I’m happy to be where I am today and look forward to continuing to grow during my 33rd year. I look back and reflect and now it is time to move forward and focus on the fact that it’s a new day and now a new year.

summer fun

fam bam pic

*You can read my “30 things for my 20 year old self” here and my “31 things for my 20 year old self” here and my “32 things for my 20 year old self” here.

Here is my letter to me:

Dear Me,

1. Don’t worry so much because, I promise you what lies ahead is way better than you could ever imagine.

2. Do what you love. Even if no one supports you. The people who love you and believe in you will support you in every endeavor.

3. You will be set up on a blind date and you will end up marrying that amazing godly man.

4. He will be your biggest supporter and your best friend. When I say biggest supporter, I mean it. He will cheer you on in anything you chose to do.

5. Dance like no one is watching. Ignore the people who laugh at your dance moves. Just enjoy yourself and have fun. That’s all that matters.

6. Pray without ceasing.

7. Always follow YOUR dreams.

8. Never let anyone bully you and guilt you into staying in their life. If it’s not working for you, then it’s just not and you don’t owe an explanation.

9. True friends are just that, true friends. You will only get a few in your lifetime, but they will be there for you always.

10. Do the things you want to do. The time wasted sitting around making excuses as to why you can’t do them, is time that could have been used doing said things.

11. Being a mom will be the hardest and most rewarding job ever. It’s never easy but it will be the best thing you’ll ever do.

12. You will do nothing with your college major. You will spend lots of years wondering if you should have and that’s okay because you still can.

13. You will move all over the place in the next ten years and you will have some great experiences and meet some amazing people.

14. You will teach yourself lots of new skills that you’ve always wanted to learn.

15. You and your sister will have kids around the same ages and this will be one of the greatest things. Seeing them all interact with each other and seeing how they love each other so much will be priceless.

16. Do not put so much stock in what certain people think of you. There will always be certain people trying to bring you down. Hold your head high and “keep on keeping on.”

17. Lots of amazing things will happen and also lots of tragic and tough things will happen. Remember to hold onto your faith. It’s hard at times, but knowing there is someone out there with a plan for YOU and YOUR life, will get you through.

18. You will always love pink and glitter. (duh)

19. You will begin watching the show Frasier and you will watch it every night and it will be key in helping you fall asleep.

20. You will always laugh a lot…even through the hard times.

21. You will always struggle not taking things to heart, whether it be an attack on you personally or an attack on your business. It will always be hard for you, but remember that you have lots of people cheering for you. They are who matter.

22. ALWAYS trust your instincts. More often than not, they will be right.

23. Always trust your mom’s instincts too. She has been right about soooo many things!

24. It’s okay to cry. Most times, after a good cry, you’ll feel better.

25. Eat dessert. Eat cheeseburgers. Life is too short to count calories constantly.

26. People will let you down. That’s just part of life.

27. Even on the hardest day when you think you can’t take anymore, remember to be thankful for ALL your blessings.

28. Always take lots of pictures even if it makes your hubby crazy! 🙂

29. Treat each day like a special occasion.

30. Don’t let fear control you.

ps…Wear sunscreen. Seriously, get in the habit now…it’s a good one.

Added August 23 2014 *Read this post HERE

31. Moving is hard. Duh. You will realize (and remember from when you were growing up) that no matter where you are, what city or state you live in, as long as you are with your immediate family (though you’ll miss the parents, sibs, friends and grandparents like crazy), you are home and you’ll be okay. Some days will be harder than others and you’ll wish you were somewhere else, but take heart, better days are coming.

ps…read number 16. and number 21. like a million times. There will come times that you’ll need that advice a lot.

Added August 23 2015 (two this year) *Read this post HERE

32. Make time for friends and family. Community is one of those things that everyone needs. You might not think you need it at times, but you do. You really do. Even when you’re not feeling your best, these are the people that love you no matter what. They love you through it all. Let them be there for you through the good, but also the bad, because that is when you need it most.

32.5 It’s okay to admit that you made a mistake and move on from that. Do NOT worry about people’s opinions about it, either. In the end, you and your husband know what’s best for your family and that is what really matters.

Added August 23 2016

33. You may not understand or even comprehend the reason for your season and the path you are walking, but eventually, it will become clear and all the difficulties and struggles will be understood. It could take days, months or even years, but in the end, you just have to trust that God has your path completely planned out and that you are exactly where you are meant to be at this exact moment. Hard to do, but just try to trust that you are where you are meant to be.





  1. Suzanne wrote:

    Happy Birthday! Such heartfelt words. I can relate to them all! I live far from my sisters and parents and struggle with that daily. My little clan here are my home too and I love them to bits. I’ve been reading your blog a while now and felt compelled to reach out and say hi. I always look forward to a little bit of your Fancy. I wish you a wonderful year to come. ????

    Posted 8.23.16
    • Ashley wrote:

      Hi Suzanne! Thank you so much for saying hi and thank you for reading!! So glad you can relate to this post! Wishing you a great year as well. XO

      Posted 8.23.16
  2. Julie wrote:

    I love, love, love #21. Having just started a business of my own, I realized who my “true” supporters were.

    You put together a fab. list as I think I can relate to every single one.

    Posted 8.23.16
    • Ashley wrote:

      Thank you, Julie!! Congrats on your new business!! Hope all goes well and that you have lots of support! XO

      Posted 8.23.16
  3. Keisha Dawson wrote:

    Happy birthday to you, beautiful one! I hope that it is a blessed day! I always love this list and to see what you’ve added!

    Posted 8.23.16
    • Ashley wrote:

      Thank you so much, Keisha! And thank you for your support over the years! XO

      Posted 8.23.16
  4. Kimm wrote:

    Happy birthday Ashley! Some years are just tough…and the best way to deal with those tough times is to stay positive of all that lies ahead !

    Posted 8.23.16
  5. Kristina wrote:

    #8 hits home for me! It’s tough, especially when it’s a family member!

    Posted 8.23.16
  6. Allison wrote:

    Happy Belated Birthday! Great advice????

    Posted 8.24.16

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